Comfort, Friendship, or Something More?
by Musetta31
Summary: A night of comforting Roger leaves Mark thinking back to their high school times. What's actually going on between them, now that Mimi's gone? Collins has ideas, but Mark's not sure. Looking at their past, will Mark see what he feels?
1. It's Just Comforting, Right?

__

So I was feeling inspired to work on a new story, since the others are being slowly updated. Not sure how many chapters this one will take, but it's something I've been tossing around for a while now.

_So, I know there are tons of RENT high school fics, and tons of Mark/Roger fics, and tons of Post- and Pre-RENT fics, but bear with me. It makes the Mark/Roger scenario more logical, or so I can tell... Anyway, now I'm rambling._

_To days of inspiration..._

* * *

I walked in the loft to see Roger sitting on the couch, guitar on the floor in front of him, head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking just slightly, and he obviously hadn't heard me come in. When the door closed, his head shot up and he wiped furiously at his cheeks, trying to make it look as if he hadn't just been crying.

I sighed, walking over to him, and sat on the couch beside him. He kept his gaze from me, looking anywhere else he could find. After a moment, I reached a hand out and put it on his shoulder. "What happened, Rog?"

At that moment, his emerald eyes finally locked on mine. For a moment more, he was silent, and then he started to cry.

Instead of waiting for him to speak again, I wrapped my other arm around him and started rubbing his back in what I hoped was a comforting manner.

Slowly, he calmed. Instead of backing away, as he had done in the past, he rested his head on my shoulder. "She's really gone, isn't she, Mark?"

Letting my eyes slide shut, I nodded nervously. "Yeah..." I said, my voice cracking.

His arms had come around my torso at this point, and his hands were tracing small little designs on my back. "Why did she have to go too? Weren't April and Angel enough?"

I sighed, leaning back on the couch to lie down. Roger kept his head resting where it was, but shifted slightly to get more comfortable. We drifted into a comfortable silence, albeit a sad one. It was a short time before I felt his breathing slow. I turned my head down just slightly to see him asleep.

It was a couple minutes before I realized I wouldn't be able to move out from underneath him without waking him up. Sighing, I rested my hands lightly on his back and closed my eyes again, finally falling asleep.

XsXeX

The next morning, I woke to the feeling of a hand lightly tracing a spiral pattern on my side. I looked down to see Roger still laying on me, with what looked like no intention to move.

After a few minutes of remaining there, I cleared my throat. "Morning Rog."

He turned his eyes up to me, the striking green no longer clouded with misery. "Hey." He kept his gaze on me, asking silently if I wanted him to move.

Clearly, my eyes betrayed my desire to stay there, because he didn't move. We laid there for the morning, neither speaking nor moving until the door to the loft opened. "Merry Christmas, bitches," Collin's voice rang out. He tossed the keys on the table before finally looking at us. "Well, don't you two look cozy."

Roger sighed inaudibly, but got up nonetheless and wrapped Collins into a hug. "Merry Christmas, man."

I sat up and Collins walked over to me, wrapping me into a hug of my own. "Merry Christmas, Collins," I said, voice slightly raspy at its lack of use.

He sat on the chair across from Roger and I, pulling out a bottle of Stoli as he did. "So, what's goin' on guys?"

"Nothing," Roger said, offering Collins a smile as he took a cup.

Collins raised an eyebrow. "You taking things okay?" he asked, looking at me as he did.

I nodded, lowering my gaze, as Roger said, "Yeah, fine. Better now."

We sat around the table, making small talk and drinking Stoli for much of the rest of the afternoon.

Later on, Collins revealed that he was staying in Angel's old apartment. I offered to walk him out, though Roger didn't want to go. He had "an idea for a new song," he said. So the two of us started toward the other building, leaving Roger with his guitar.

Upon exiting the house, Collins threw an arm over my shoulder. "What's going on with you and Roger?"

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"Didn't look like nothing when I walked in, man."

I sighed. "He was upset. Mimi's death just sank in last night, I guess. So I comforted him. He fell asleep. It happens."

"You guys looked awful awake when I came in," Collins said, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

I looked down at the ground. "Well, it was... I just... We were comfortable. Didn't feel like moving." I looked back up, meeting Collin's gaze. "Not like it's the first time. Remember, after Angel? And April? And his mother? All three times... I was there. I'm the comforter. That's all."

Collins nodded, still looking skeptical. "Whatever you say, man. Just seems like more, that's all."

At that point, we reached Angel's old apartment. Collins hugged me tight for a moment before opening the door and heading up. "See ya, Collins," I said before turning away.

The walk home, though short, allowed me time to think. My mind was still churning when I walked into the apartment, hearing the strum of guitar strings and Roger's barely raspy voice ringing out, "Hate feeling the pain, hate giving in to the desire, hate letting you see me when I'm down to the wire. Hate feeling so useless, hate letting disease win, hate that I can't seem to just let you in..."

I shifted my gaze from him to the floor beneath my feet, letting out a sigh as I looked up. Roger's head turned and he smiled a bit at me, shifting the guitar so I could sit next to him. "You haven't worked on that song since we were in high school, Rog."

He nodded. "I know. I felt the need to do something more with it." He looked down at the guitar in his hand. "It just seems right now."

I nodded, resting my head on the back of the couch. "Geez, high school seems so far away now, doesn't it?" I stated more than asked.

Roger didn't reply, just rested a hand lightly on my knee.

I looked at him momentarily before letting my thoughts take over again, thinking back to our high school days.

XsXeX

It was the first day of my senior year, our senior year, and my camera was rolling, as usual. "Zoom in on Maureen, already planning her newest protest," I said, taking a close-up of the chattering girl. "Next shot, Collins, who's already graduated but decided to come see us off." I shifted the frame to include the smoking man. "Pan left, over the crowd of gathering students, mixed with new freshman and older upper classman. And there... Is that a new senior?" I lowered the lens from my eye, gazing out across the crowd to see a man in a leather coat exiting a beat-up car. He pulled a guitar out of the backseat behind him, then started our way. I raised an eyebrow, raising the camera again and focusing on him.

The man stopped in front of us, causing me to zoom out. "Something you like, Camera boy?" he asked, voice emotionless but with a grin playing on his face.

I looked at him before holding out a hand. "I'm Mark. I'm a filmmaker, working on our senior class film. Gotta get everyone in the shots, ya know?" I laughed sheepishly.

The conversations going on around us left Maureen and Collins unaware of my newest interaction, so when the man leaned forward, I blushed a little bit. He got very close to me, close enough that I could have seen him even without my glasses, still grinning. "Name's Roger. Musician. Band. Well Hungarians."

I raised an eyebrow, laughing at the band name.

His grin stretched into a smile. "Congrats, camera boy, you're the first person to get that without it being explained." He backed up then, looking at the door. "I'll see ya around."

Confused at the blush that had crawled up my cheeks, I nodded, returning the camera lens to my face, though my mind was no longer on the film. It would be an interesting year.

* * *

_Ah, and there it is. There's another RENT high school fic out there now. But hopefully it won't grow all cliche on me and such... Anyway, I'll continue this if I get reviews. Let me know what you think! REVIEWS make me a happy author! There's only now, there's only here..._


	2. First Day Song Lyrics

_So! I got reviews on the first chapter, which surprised me a little bit. But! Anyway... There's sort of a counterpart to this on my page, called "RENT Poems". Some of them tie in, some don't, you'll be able to tell pretty easy. But, that's enough shameless advertising on my part._

_I own nothing. It is all from the amazing mind of one Jonathon Larson, with the exception of the plot and the song lyrics I add in._

_To days of inspiration..._

* * *

Homeroom on the first day of school, in any year, is the most dreaded time. Because odds are, you have some teacher you've never seen before in your life calling your name out, incorrectly mind you, to the entire class, and then they hand you a little piece of paper with your destiny for the year written on it.

Jesus, that was a poetic statement.

Anyway, I walked into homeroom, expecting the usual room full of faces I had never spoken to, but had filmed way too many times to not know the names associated with them. I panned the camera around the room, taking in all the students as well as the teacher, before taking a seat toward the back. Just as the bell was ringing, Roger walked in, smiling in what was supposed to be an innocent manner.

For once, I knew someone in homeroom. Shock. I moved my camera from the desk next to me, since it was the only empty one left, and the blond man sat next to me. As roll was called, I turned the camera back on inconspicuously, turning it back to the front of the room. The teacher's animated gestures would make it into the senior class film, surely. Soon, however, my attention returned to the blond musician next to me.

Roger had a notebook out on his desk and was tapping a beat with his left hand while he wrote on a slightly messy page. By the time the teacher was done with roll, he had filled the page with a mix of words and scribbles, in the form of what I figured was a song.

The schedules circulated the room then, and I looked at mine with a grin. I had Gym, English, Calculus, Photography and Film, and... Music? They put me in music?

I must have looked confused, because Roger spoke. "Got a class you weren't expecting?"

I nodded. "They... They put me in music."

The man laughed a bit, taking the page with my schedule on it from me. "Sweet, we have three classes together."

I took my schedule back, taking his with it, and compared. We had music, gym, and... "You're taking Film class?"

He smiled. "Yeah. They said it would round out my creativity. I think they just want me to be behind a camera for once instead of in front of it."

I snorted, handing him his paper back. "Well, this is going to be an... interesting year in film then."

Roger shrugged, sitting back in his desk a little more. "It very well may be, Camera Boy."

I raised an eyebrow, about to correct him when the bell rang. "Uh... well, then, let's get to gym. Guitar Man."

He put an arm over my shoulder as we walked down the hallway. "Guitar Man, huh?" He put on a contemplative expression. "I think I might like that. It's like Piano Man..."

XsXeX

I hated running. I've never once liked gym class, and the only time I ever ran outside of it was when I was trying to keep that damn homeless woman from taking my camera. Which she would have succeeded in if not for the fact that Roger caught up with me right then. But there I was, in gym class, running around the track breathless. It took all I had not to glare at Roger as he turned around and started running backwards so he could talk to me.

"So, I guess you don't like running then," he said with a smirk.

I raised an eyebrow and shook my head, panting slightly.

He laughed. "C'mon Marky, it's not that hard." He turned back around and slowed a bit so he was behind me. "Maybe you just need motivation..."

I was not expecting to feel his fingers deftly trying to tickle my sides. I scurried away, turning my head to glare at him full on. When he was starting to pass me again, I returned the favor.

The musician doubled over, squeaking as he sped up to avoid the tickling. I laughed to myself as the teacher decided to have pity on us and allow us to walk. When I caught up with Roger, he was still blushing. "So you squeak when you get tickled, huh? You're pretty ticklish man."

He leaned close to me for a moment, eliciting a blush from me as well as he whispered in my ear, "Not a word, Mark. Not a word."

XsXeX

Film class was expectedly simple. The teacher went over the basics. He set me to work with Roger, since he was the only one who'd never taken the class, and went to work on his newest piece. It was music that really got interesting.

I walked in from Calculus, looking around to find Roger already with a guitar in hand, plucking out a song I didn't know. After a few chords, he started singing, "In time with the rain, the heart beats so strong, there's no way this feeling can be wrong..." He trailed off thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Jesus, that sucked."

I took a seat next to him with a laugh. "It was actually pretty good, if you ask me. What was it?"

He looked up, almost surprised. "Uh... A song I'm working on for the band. I started it after gym class, when I was supposed to be working on an English thing."

I shook my head. "That's bad for you. Not doing your work."

"I don't really need it anyway," he mumbled, strumming absentmindedly. "I'll pass with my winning smile like I always do."

Just then, the teacher closed the door and walked to the front of the class. He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, causing Roger to stop playing. "Hello class. Here's how this is going to work. I'm going to pair you up in twos, and one will sing while the other plays. You can pretty much do whatever you want as long as it's not going to make me cringe. If I cringe, you lose. But, if it's good, Mark here will film it for us, and we'll watch at the end of the semester. Agreed?" Two dozen heads nodded, and he paired us off. As luck would have it, I was coincidentally paired with Roger. Go figure.

I turned to him with a shy smile. "Uh... I don't sing. Or play."

Roger laughed. "I do both. You'll do the singing part, 'kay?"

I nodded. "Sure. So... what's the first thing we're working on then?"

He thought for a moment before starting to pick out a different riff than the earlier one. He pulled out a tattered red notebook, placing it on the stand before him, and flipped through it quickly. "This is the lyric for it. It's called Confused." He looked down at the words before starting to sing quietly. "Looking at her across the room, knowing she will be my doom. There's no feeling here, no attraction at all. This will be my fall." He paused, playing a longer riff before starting again. "Across the room, that boy I know. I never thought I'd see him at my show. His bright blue eyes pierce my soul in the end. Against him I cannot defend." He stopped, looking down. "That's all I've got right now. I've... I've worked on it today, some of the most recent lines detailed and all that..."

I was surprised, and smiled wide. "That's really good. So... we're gonna do that one?"

Roger shrugged. "If you want to... You can add some to the lyric if you want. We can sing it together so you don't have to all alone."

I nodded. "Yeah. That sounds cool. I'll... I'll need the guitar part to listen to if I want to work on it, or... We'll have to work on it outside of school. Something like that."

He smiled. "Yeah. An excuse to hang out, heh." He laughed a bit, putting the guitar down next to him as the bell rang. "Well, that's it for the day, Marky." He picked up his bag, putting the Fender carefully back in its case. "Do you wanna, maybe, go get some pizza or something? I'll pay."

I smiled. "Yeah. I'd like that."

* * *

_End part two. Heheh, don't you hate endings like that? So! REVIEWS please! I like them. They make me feel good about myself._

_There's only now, there's only here..._


	3. Admitting

_If I still have any loyal fans, I will be completely and utterly shocked. I haven't updated this story in forever and a day, but... the muses have struck me again, with the help of a friend. =)_

_As usual, __I own nothing. It is all from the amazing mind of one Jonathon Larson, with the exception of the plot and some of the song lyrics I add in. Others, starting in this chapter I think, will be from "Single Drop of You" by Adam Pascal._

_To days of inspiration..._

* * *

I was surprised to discover that Roger already knew where the nearest pizza place was. I hadn't expected him to know the town so quickly, but then again, Scarsdale wasn't exactly a big town either.

He ordered a couple pieces of cheese pizza and took the plates to a table near the back of the place, one with a window right next to it. I laughed a bit when he pulled my chair out for me in a jokingly gentleman-like manner. I sat and took my plate, looking at him across the table instead of starting to eat.

He sat down and did the same for a moment before laughing. "We look like a couple of grade school kids on a date," he snorted.

I laughed. "Sorta, just a little bit."

After the ice breaker, we started talking about everything and nothing, really, while we ate. We touched on how math was for me, english for him, all the basic stuff, and then we got to Film.

"So what exactly are we gonna do in that class?" Roger asked, taking the last bite of his pizza.

I looked down at my plate, which had half left, and pushed it toward him with a laugh. "Well, how about we do a film of what we do for music? We'll go through the whole process of the song and everything else."

He nodded, picking up my half-eaten pizza, and took a bite before continuing. "Sounds good to me. Will that work, though?"

I nodded. "The teacher lets me do pretty much anything I want to, to be honest. I've been in his class since freshman year. He likes me by now, I'd hope."

Roger laughed, and we fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes while he finished my pizza. "So, for this song we have to do..."

I cringed a little inside. "Ideas?"

He laughed. "Well, we have the one I threw out there during class. You can flip through my lyrics if you want, but... some of them, I don't think I could actually do."

"Okay, I'll look through," I said, taking a sip of the soda he'd brought over about ten minutes earlier. He handed me the notebook across the table, which I didn't realize he'd brought in with him, and started looking at page after page. I stopped on one in particular as I started reading the words.

It was only a chorus, two actually, both on one page. The first read, "Single Drop Of You" on the top, and the other had no title over it. I pointed the top one out to him.

"I really like this one. Can you sing it?"

He scanned the lyric for a moment before looking up thoughtfully. "I'd need my bass for that... but I think it's workable." He eyed the words for a moment before letting his voice start softly, fluidly. "You fill my eyes, and I'm burning for you. I cannot rest 'til I'm drowning in your love. Today I live for a single drop of you."

I smiled a bit, listening closely. His voice was rough, but the tune was catchy. When he finished, I sat quietly for a minute before picking up on his tune a bit. "There's a town across the way, pushed here by the wind. So much sky, the rebel wave carried me here. The lightning flashed..." I stopped when I saw the look on his face.

His mouth was slighly open, turning up at the corners in a mix of surprise and enjoyment. His eyes, when I looked into them, shone a bit.

I blushed furiously. "Is it that bad?"

He stayed silent for a moment more before shaking his head. "That's amazing, Mark. It works with the bass line amazingly. I just wish someone played the piano with it. That'd be amazing for it."

"Well, I play a little bit... Sort of."

His face took on a hint of surprise again. "You said you don't play," he muttered.

"I had to take classes when I was younger. My mom forced me into them. Said that spending so much time with my camera was unhealthy. She was worried I was doing weird things with it, apparently."

Roger snorted, his smile growing infectiously. "You and your camera." He shook his head, looking down at the notebook, and flipped to a new pen to jot down the lyric idea.

I felt a blush start crawling up my cheeks again when his foot touched mine under the table. _Stop it, _I thought to myself. _It was an accident, I'm sure. He doesn't think like that._ Then his foot touched mine again, and his ankle looped around behind my own.

He finished writing down the words and looked up with a sort of shy smile, different from the others I'd seen that day. I smiled back momentarily. Then the devil was unleashed.

Maureen has been my best friend since elementary school. She was in my class and clung to me since. Normally after school, she just went home to work on her protest. Today, she decided to come to the pizza place. Of all days, today.

"Aww, Marky, you guys are so CUTE! So how's the school's newest couple?" She bounced up to the table, grinning wide.

I looked down at the table, blushing worse than I had been before. Roger looked down as well, stopping redness from appearing on his own cheeks, before he looked up. "We're not a couple, chick. Just friends."

I'd slid my hands under the table to rest on my knees and pulled myself into the table, scrunching up embarrassedly. I felt his hand touch mine for a moment, and I looked up. "Yeah, Mo, nothing's going on. I don't date, remember?"

"Oh, please, Marky. Everyone knows we dated last year, until Joanne came around." Maureen pulled a chair over to the table, sitting on it backwards, and made herself comfortable. "You need to date someone, and it's so obvious that you're bi..."

"Mo!"

"What? It's true!" She giggled when I blushed a little harder, and launched into a story from our childhood. "I could tell from the time we were in first grade. There was this boy in our class, and..."

XmXrX

I got in the passenger seat of Roger's car, relieved to be away from Maureen. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd held when Roger closed the driver's side door and turned toward me.

"Is she always like that? So... humiliating?"

I nodded. "Endlessly." I looked down at the dashboard, hoping he wouldn't bring up the conversation as he turned the car on.

I was surprised when he stayed quiet for a bit after the car started. My house was on the other side of Scarsdale, so it took about a half hour to get there from the pizza place. We were about half way there when he spoke again. "So was she telling the truth?"

I cringed internally, but looked at him. "About what?"

"You being bi?" he asked quietly, nervously. I sighed. "You don't have to answer," he said. "I'm just curious. I mean, I'm bi, so..." he trailed off.

I looked at him, a bit surprised, and smiled. "Well, actually... Yeah. I am. I think."

He grinned when we got to a red light. "What do you mean, you think?"

"Well, I've never actually been with a guy, so I don't really know, guess." I blushed again, cursing my body for reacting that way constantly.

He nodded. "Understandable. But you've been curious?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

He nodded again, grin never leaving his face. For the rest of the car ride, we stayed quiet, his free hand drumming the beat of the songs on the radio on the armrest between us.

When we pulled up in front of my house, I slung my bag on my shoulder before moving to open the door. "Thanks for the ride, Roger," I said, turning away from him.

"Mark, hold on a sec," he said as I opened the door. I turned back, about to say what, and felt his lips press to mine.

When he pulled away a second later, I knew I was blushing profusely, and smiled. "Um... I'll see you tomorrow?" I said gently.

He chuckled. "I'll be there, on the front steps, probably playing as usual."

I nodded and closed the door, waving to him as he drove away. I turned to walk up the steps and saw my mother in the doorway, anger clear on her face.

I come from a traditional Jewish family. My mother never knew I was even curious about anything. Until that moment, I guess. I cringed and walked up the steps into the house.

As soon as the door slammed shut, she started screaming. "MARK COHEN, HOW DARE YOU...!" I stood there and took her verbal beating for a good ten minutes, not listening. I was thinking about what had just happened in the car, Mo's comments before, that whole day. It was after running over the full events of the day several times that I realized I'd left my camera in Roger's car.

* * *

_There we go! I've been waiting for the muse to come back since like June. Events will sometimes cause that, I suppose. I must thank my darling friend yet again for helping me get the ideas flowing again. This one will probably start being updated more often, now that I've got an idea with it._

_REVIEWS please! They make an author happy!_

_There's only now, there's only here..._


	4. It Feels Right?

_So, here's another update. I feel... inspired? So I'm gonna run with it. :D_

_As usual, I own nothing. It's all Jonathan Larson's, as marvelous as he was._

_To days of inspiration..._

* * *

I sighed when I closed the car door, only muffling my mother's scream of, "AND IF I FIND OUT YOU KISS ANOTHER BOY AGAIN, I SWEAR MARK COHEN..." By that point, I'd walked away, heading for the stairs at the front of the school.

Maureen bounded up behind me, giggling when she hugged me. "I heard your mom yelling, Marky. Guess even she knows about the school's new couple of the year."

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "We're not a couple, Mo. We're just friends." I shook her off and kept walking, stopping at the bottom of the stairs where Roger sat on the stone siding.

The boy kept strumming, murmuring the words I said yesterday and adding on some of his own. I noticed my camera on top of his coat in front of him.

Smiling, I walked up and picked up my camera, looking at it to make sure I hadn't damaged it in any way.

He laughed. "Well, hello to you too."

I blushed, smiling. "Hey," I responded. "Sorry about that, I just... It's my camera, ya know?"

He smiled. "I know. It's like my guitar." He strummed the guitar again before pushing it to the side and making room for me to sit next to him.

I slid onto the wall facing him and crossed my legs in front of me before I started filming. "Well, since I lack footage from last night, let's start the day off with Roger playing in front of the school."

The musician shook his head, pushing a hand through his short blond hair, and started playing again, starting to sing. "There's a town across the way, pushed here by the wind. So much sky, the rebel wave carried me here. The lightning flashed on thirsty ground. And how you appeared my love. One beautiful gaze and I knew..."

He stopped then, looking down at the paper with a focused expression. I zoomed in carefully, making sure it didn't distract him, and caught him mouthing some of the words written down before looking at the instrument in his hand.

He sighed, turning where he sat and putting the guitar back in its case. I hadn't noticed, but he carried a second case with him that day. He opened that and pulled out a bass instead, picking out the tune he'd played on the guitar, but with some much lower parts added in.

I zoomed back out, filming this whole bit, and he started the song over again. Each detail seemed important, the way he bit his lip when he messed up, the slight turning up of the corner of his mouth when he got them right, his eyes closing when he got into the song. After watching him for a few minutes, it wasn't about the camera anymore. I kept filming, but the focus was far from the film. It was all on him.

It was probably because of this that when the bell rang, he and I both jumped, and I started to fall off of the wall. Instead of turning to catch myself like a smart person would do, I flipped to catch my camera, surprised when I felt a pair of arms catch me.

I looked up to see Roger holding me up, a mix of amusement and relief on his face. He'd jumped up when he saw me falling and caught me, clearly. He helped me back onto the wall carefully, looking around for his bass. "Dammit, where'd I drop it...?" he trailed off, looking in the bushes on the outer side. I leaned over from where he placed me, spotting it near its case, and pointed it out. He nodded, taking it, and smiled. "Thank you. Now, next time, don't fall off the damn wall."

I laughed. "I didn't do it on purpose! I was... distracted."

"By my rock star good looks?" he laughed.

I bit my lip, fighting back a blush, and let out a nervous laugh. "Let's go with that."

XmXrX

Homeroom was homeroom, complete with filming the teacher while I talked to Roger about that morning's footage and how I caught my whole fall from my point of view. We had Film first, during which I took a look at some of the shots I had from that morning and decided what I would cut for editing. Roger looked on, asking questions now and then, until the bell rang. I went to Advanced English while Roger went to Calculus, though how he was in that class blew my mind. My new assignment was to write an interview with someone I just met, including details on who they're dating, interested in, and what they want to do for a living. It was a press interview, essentially, and since I could use it for Film, my decision was already made.

I had never skipped a class before my senior year, before Roger showed up. We had gym third period that day, and we were playing dodgeball. Normally, I'd play and be one of the last ones left because they loved pegging me at the end. That day, when I saw dodgeball set up, I groaned resignedly and started toward the locker rooms when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist from under the bleachers and pull me under.

Surprised, I turned to see Roger there. He held a finger up to his lips and loosened his grip on my wrist, pointing to a door at the end of the bleachers. He lowered his hand into mine and pulled me along to the door, which was unlocked.

He opened the door and peeked in to make sure it was a place we could go without being caught before pulling me in after him and shutting it just as quickly as he'd pulled me under the bleachers. I raised an eyebrow as I looked around the room and looked back at him. "So why are we in the stairwell in the gym instead of taking class?" I whispered.

He smirked, still holding my hand, and started up the stairs. It was four flights up that we came to another door, which he opened and pulled me through before closing quiety. I was surprised at what I saw.

There was a balcony, complete with bench, on the second floor that no student could ever find a way up to. It had a perfect view from the front of the school, the whole town of Scarsdale stretched out in front of it. Roger had found the way up.

"Whatcha think, Marky? Worth skipping gym?" he whispered in my ear, his breath warm.

I knew I was blushing when I turned around and smiled at him. "Definitely."

XmXrX

We also skipped my Calculus, his English Prep, class. We listened for the bell, realizing it was last period and we had music. He smiled wide. "Let's go!" he said quickly, standing and opening the door. We quickly went down the four flights of stairs and exited the gym, taking the shortest route to the music room, which was down a floor and across the building. It was almost instant that when he got in the room, Roger had his bass in hand and was picking out that same melody from earlier.

The teacher seemed surprised to see me in the room early, but looked at Roger and nodded. He listened to the tune for a minute before speaking. "Already got your idea for a song, boys?"

Roger nodded, a goofy grin on his face. "Yeah. We're working on it."

The teacher, Mr. Raymond, nodded with a smile. "Good. Keep it up."

For the remainder of the period, Roger and I went back and forth with lyrics, me nervous about my voice and him constantly telling me that no matter what Cindy said, I actually did sing rather nicely. Regardless of the fact that no matter now many times he said it, I still wasn't going to believe it.

The day ended much like the previous one, with Roger still playing and me still filming him, throwing in lines now and then when the song struck me particularly.

It was almost ten minutes after the bell when we stopped, and we were the last students left. Mr. Raymond had been listening to us for most of the period, it seemed, and had a pleased smile on his face. "You boys work well together. I think I made a good choice here."

I just nodded, blushing. Roger hadn't lost that goofy grin since the class started, so it was no change for him. He looked at the teacher as he packed up his bass and spoke. "Could I leave Jessie here? My bass?"

I raised an eyebrow. His bass was named Jessie. "Sure you can, Roger," Mr. Raymond said, opening the door to his office.

Roger put the instrument down inside the room carefully, locking the case before he turned away. "Be good to her," he said, only half joking. He picked up his guitar and searched his pocket for his keys. "Have a good day, Mr. Raymond," he called over his shoulder.

"You too, boys."

I followed Roger out to the parking lot, filming the whole way, and stayed quiet until he spoke. "Geez, when you're filming, you don't talk much."

I smiled. "It's one of those things. I want to capture everything how it is, sometimes without me involved."

He shook his head, laughing to himself, and swung the guitar into the backseat, leaning on his passenger side door. "Well, Cohen, you're gonna put the camera away for a while, because we're gonna drive around and talk."

"About what?" I asked.

"Nothing. Everything. Does it matter? We're just gonna talk." He opened the door he'd been leaning on, taking the camera from my hands carefully, and gently pushed me into the seat. "Now, let's go."

XmXrX

We drove around for a good two hours, talking about exactly what he said, everything and nothing at the same time. We'd gone into a lull in the conversation when he finally asked what I hoped he wouldn't bring up. "So, about last night..."

Instant blush. Damn teenage body. I always blushed. "Yeah?" I asked, voice cracking slightly.

He smiled a bit, looking down for a moment before looking back up at the road. "What'd.... well... What'd you think?" he stuttered, glancing at me when we got to a red light.

I looked down, looking back at him. "I don't know. It was... nice?" Nice? _Nice_? Of all the things I could say, nice?

He laughed. "Nice. Is that a good thing?"

I shrugged nervously. "Well... It didn't feel wrong. which I guess would make it a good thing."

The goofy grin he always had during music crossed his face, making me smile too. "Good. Cause if it did feel wrong, I'd definitely have to kill you."

I laughed a bit, lounging into my seat more comfortably. We drove around in a comfortable silence for another hour before we got to my house. He looked over at me, still grinning that goofy grin. "Don't want to go inside and get screamed at for 'KISSING ANOTHER BOY' again, huh?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "That's my mother..." I sat up, reaching in back for my camera. I couldn't reach it, so Roger reached around me and got it, handing it to me with as much care as I would have picked it up with. "Thanks," I said. I slid my bag onto my shoulder and turned toward him before I opened the door. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Night, Mark."

I had my hand on the handle of the door when I looked back at him again. "Hey, Roger?" I said.

He looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

I leaned forward, tentatively, and kissed him lightly.

He pulled back a second later, smiling wide. "Go home, Mark, or your mom will never let you hang out with me again."

I laughed, opening the door, and got out. I stood at the door for a minute, just looking at him, and then said, "Night," before heading into the house.

XmXrX

I sat in my room that night, looking through the day's footage and was surprised to find only a few shots that didn't involve Roger at all.

I turned off the camera and projector, laying back on the bed. I wasn't gay. I couldn't be gay. I had been with Maureen, after all. That was enough to prove I wasn't gay.

Then why was it that I'd already kissed Roger twice, and it still felt right?

* * *

_And there's the new chapter. =D_

_REVIEWS are greatly appreciated! They make me happy and want to keep writing. _

_There's only now, there's only here..._


	5. His Father, His Father

_So, this update has been in process for a bit now, but my computer was in fixing yet again, so it took a bit to post._

_Now! To start off with! I'm offering a warning to any readers right now. I've mapped out this story. I won't tell you what the length will be, but I'll tell you that it's probably going to be very very long. Beware of my little false endings too. There will be points where it seems like the story is over. Unless I say it's the end, it's a false ending. I'll only make this warning once, by the way. The ending still isn't fully finished, but I think I know where I'm going. It'll make sense later, and I'll always ask for opinions on how the couple should end up._

_The song Mark sings in this chapter, which he will do more of later, is called "New York, NY" by Chronic Future. I figure Mark's got some kind of musical creativity in him, much like Roger has an eye he doesn't let anyone know about. There's a reason Roger's in film and Mark's in music. This is where we begin to really see why. Also, this is the beginning of the major furthering of the plot. It's a very heavy chapter, and it doesn't have much humor in it, but... It's necessary. I'm hoping I'll make the next chapter make up for this one. But this is really the start of our heavy plot lines. It's not easy. And it may leave readers upset. But it's how things go._

_This chapter starts to push the boundaries of a T rating, but isn't quite at the M rating. There's a lot of homophobic comments toward the end of this chapter. I just need to say, obviously, I'm not homophobic. But it fits certain characters. There's also some flirting in this chapter, like the previous, and you learn a lot about Roger and Mark's families. Anyway, this author's note has ben far too long. I must begin the story now._

_To days of inspiration..._

* * *

The first month of school proceeded pretty much the same way that the first couple days had gone. We skipped one class a week, never the same two weeks in a row, and hung out after school until just before dinner. I had to be home for dinner, so he'd drop me off, and we'd have our awkward car moment before I went inside.

The due dates for our film and song were getting closer, so we were working harder on those, and I did the stupid interview for my english class one of the days we were skipping.

I reached over and flipped the camera off, looking at Roger at the end of the interview. "Well, she can't be upset about that one. I got enough info, and didn't go overly personal... Right?"

He smiled a bit, nodding. There was one question I'd been wanting to ask since I went to Roger's house a couple of nights for dinner, but I wasn't sure if it was okay to ask yet. He must have noticed me pause, because he responded. "Another question, Marky?"

I looked at him, nodding lightly before shaking my head.

He laughed a bit. "You can ask me, you know."

I nodded, looking down for a minute. "Well, I was just wondering... I've only ever met your mom and sister... I was kinda wondering about your dad... I get it if you don't want to talk about it. I was just... curious..." I trailed off, looking at my hands again. I wasn't sure how he was going to respond.

He stayed quiet for a moment before speaking. "Mark... It's okay. You can look at me. I'll tell you." I looked up, meeting his eye, and saw how difficult it would be for him to speak of it. I reached a hand out and took a hold of his, holding it gently. He sighed and began. "My father left when I was about 13. Before that... he and my mother didn't get along. Especially because my mother didn't mind that I was a 13 year old boy in a rock band. He... ah... Well, he hit her a lot. And one day, I was maybe 11 at the time, I finally decided I would step in and tried to stop him from hitting her. So he started hitting me instead. I hit back, of course. I was that punk of a kid he couldn't stand. We both walked away with some pretty good marks from it. But he always seemed to walk away worse for the wear. The worst I suffered was a bruised rib and a couple black eyes. I broke his nose three times. The third time was when he left. Just packed everything and was gone. Kayleigh was born about 6 months later. Mom was... depressed, but not as much as I thought she'd be. She started getting better, she was finally happy and everything, and then she decided we would move back here, to her hometown."

I sat there through his whole explanation, listening quietly, squeezing his hand when he paused, and when he finished, we sat there in silence for a minute. I noticed a tear had started down his cheek, however uncontrolled it was, and reached my free hand out to wipe it away. He looked back up at me, blue-green eyes meeting mine. I kept my hand on his cheek for a moment, leaning forward slightly. I paused momentarily and then leaned forward more, kissing him just slightly.

This kiss wasn't awkward like our car kisses were. It was gentle, but felt right. I pulled back after a second and looked at him again, trying to read his expression. His eyes looked less sad, though the smile I'd grown to adore hadn't started to show again. He held my gaze for another minute before kissing me again.

This time was a little longer, a little deeper. We pulled away after a couple seconds, though, and just stared at each other.

We stayed that way for a good ten minutes, neither moving nor speaking. We didn't need to. In some way, the silence spoke words that we could never form. Dimly in the background, I heard the bell ring for our next class.

I sighed heavily, wanting nothing more than to just stay in that spot, and stood, picking up my camera bag and backpack. "We've got music now, Rog... Let's go..."

XmXrX

Roger went off to his locker before music, feeling the need to clean up the eyeliner he was worried he'd smudged, so I told the teacher he was in the bathroom and sat at the piano. I hadn't come up with much for the song yet, but I also refused to play in front of Roger yet. Taking advantage of the fact that he was out of the room, I started playing a song I had sort of come up with last year. The piano portion wasn't overly complicated, but I could hear a guitar riff and drums to go with it, at least. The piano suited me just fine though.

I kept my gaze on the keys, thinking of the words I wasn't so sure of. I cut to what I figured would be towrad the end of the song, since I had no clue as to what the verses were going to be yet, and started singing quietly to myself. "Go get your map and compass and don't listen to them, and don't think about how much time you're fixing to spend. The dirt only ends when the pavement begins. This is your heart your dream, and you're your only friend so go. New york city's so far away, but I can't wait even for one more day. They say these things come and these things go, but if I don't try I'll never know."

Feeling ready to start working on the song Roger and I were doing, I pulled out the page I had with the words on it. I should have realized at that point that Roger should have been back in the room, but for once I was caught in what I was doing. I didn't even notice someone pick up my camera.

I skimmed the lyrics carefully, remembering the bass line, and started to play a set of chords that I thought might work. When I got to the actual singing, I sung along lightly, but still with the confidence the lyrics required. When I finished the first chorus, I nodded to myself, jotting down the chords I used, and then realized the class had gone quiet.

I turned around to see Roger holding my camera, filming me as I played, the smile on his face curious. The class looked surprised and the teacher was grinning widely. I blushed as Roger turned off the camera and said, "Okay, everyone, show's over."

The teacher walked over as the other students went back to work. "You've got talent, Cohen. And not just with that camera either."

I shrugged, blushing, and looked down at my hands. I heard Roger chuckle lightly as he sat across from me, his bass across his lap. "Mark's shy, sir. He won't admit he's any good either way." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the teacher smirk and pat Roger on the shoulder before walking away. I looked up then, meeting his blue-green eyes. "You really did play well. What was that first song you played?"

"That?" I questioned stupidly. I glanced down again, but returned eye contact. "It's something I came up with last year. When I wanted to go to New York. My parents won't let that fly, of course. I'm headed off to the University of Rhode Island when senior year is out. But I'd love to be in New York. I want to try so badly..."

"So try it, Marky. You can do it."

I just looked at him for a minute, contemplating the statement, and shook my head. "It's my parents, Rog. You... haven't met them yet. For a reason. I know your story, but... I can't tell you mine yet. You'll see why I can't just go to New York. It'll all make sense." I looked back down at the sheet with lyrics in front of me. "Anyway... To this song..."

XmXrX

Lunch that day was probably one of the beginning of the trauma of senior year. Maureen was sitting with the cheerleaders for a few minutes, waiting for Joanne to come out of the lunch line. The way she was giggling and touching made it completely obvious that she was flirting, desipte how many times she would argue that she hadn't been.

Joanne came out of the lunch line, turning to see Maureen sitting on the table flirting. Of course, Maureen had gotten caught up in what she was doing, so she didn't notice. I could see Joanne seething and, without a second thought, pulled out my camera. Joanne walked over to the table and nodded at me, putting her tray down, before walking over to Maureen.

She tapped the giggling girl on the shoulder, receiving a surprised look. "Can I talk to you?" I could hear her say quietly, even across the room. Her tone was serious and if she hadn't been holding together, she obviously would have been glaring at the people sitting at the table.

Collins walked up to our table then, a cigarette in his mouth, and looked where I was pointing the camera. He raised an eyebrow as Joanne walked Maureen over to a secluded corner of the cafeteria, near their table and out of earshot of everyone else.

The two had a visible argument, though the only thing audible was the end when Joanne threw her hands up and said, "THAT'S IT! I'M DONE!" and stormed over to us.

She picked up her tray, shaking her head, and tried to keep the tears in her eyes from overflowing. "I'll see you guys around," she said quietly before walking away.

I turned back to Maureen, who was standing in the same spot, shock evident on her face. She looked at us, then at the path Joanne went in, and turned the other way, hiding her own tears from us. She walked out of the cafeteria, out the doors of the school.

XmXrX

Film was our last class for a change, since there had been planning in the morning and the schedule had shifted for the day. I sat near an editor in the back, looking over that day's film. I cut out some clips from the interview, happy to have more film, and then got to the cut to music class. I went to cut it all when Roger stopped me.

I was a bit surprised, to be honest. He'd never edited our movie. So most of the clips were him, Maureen, Collins, and Joanne. I made a point to keep myself out of the movie as much as possible. But this, he wouldn't let me cut out.

He gestured for me to let him sit where I'd been sitting, watching the film carefully. He made a few cuts, and then rewound what he'd edited to show me. Suddenly I understood why he'd been adament to keep it in.

Roger had filmed better than even I expected. He had left in a shot of just my hands, a pan up of the sheet music, and a shot of my face while I'd been singing the first song. I could tell it was the first. There was just that expression that said... this is mine, I guess.

I looked at him and he smiled lightly, giving me the seat back. He leaned over my shoulder when I'd sat and whispered in my ear, "And make sure you leave that. You look amazing in that shot."

XmXrX

Roger and I sat in his car, as usual, after getting food at the local pizza place. I sighed, looking at my camera as a song Maureen loved came on the radio. "I'm worried about her, Rog. She wasn't in any other classes, she wasn't at the pizza parlor, and she hasn't answered her phone. She even missed drama club."

Roger put an arm over my shoulders, hugging me close. "It's okay, Mark. She'll be fine. From what I've seen of Maureen, she always bounces right back."

I nodded. "You're right." I leaned on him for a moment before shaking my head. "I have to go inside. Can't be late for dinner, ya know..."

He nodded, leaning toward me just slightly. He kissed my temple comfortingly before releasing me. I opened the door and pushed my stuff onto the sidewalk, turning back toward him for a moment. He smiled, as this had become almost routine, and kissed me lightly. I smiled back and stepped out of the car, waving as I walked up my drive.

After he drove away, I sighed and walked in the door, immediately going up the stairs to put away my backback and camera. I stared at the wall for a moment, looking at my old pictures, and then headed back downstairs for dinner.

I was the first one to the kitchen, as usual in my family. Mom was still cooking, so I walked up and looked in the pans to see if anything needed to be done. When Mom came back in the room, I was stirring the pasta and sauce at the same time.

She took the spoons from my hands, tsking at me. "Men do not cook, Mark, we've been over this."

I shook my head, but went to sit at the kitchen table regardless, soon joined by Cindy and my father.

Dinner went as always, quiet and with little discussion amongst us. Finally, Mom sent Cindy to bed and set about cleaning up the dishes, leaving Dad and I sitting at the table.

We were quiet for a few minutes before Dad spoke. "So, who's this Roger kid?"

I looked up, surprised. "Just a friend from school. Why?"

"Well, he's the Davis kid, isn't he?" Dad sounded almost angry, but I wasn't sure why, so I just nodded. "Rumor has it, the reason they moved is because the kid got kicked out of his school for being a faggot."

I heard Mom drop a dish in the sink, turning to look at her for a moment to compose myself.

Dad continued before I could speak. "Is it true, Mark? Is he a faggot?"

I turned to look back at my father, keeping my face clear. "Not that I know of, Dad."

He nodded. "Good. Because I won't have my son hanging out with a queer. God knows what it'd do to you. You're pansy enough without an influence like that."

I just looked at the table, taking a sip of the drink I still had in front of me.

"Didn't you hang out with another fruit? Tom Collins or something like that? Maybe he's the one who made you a pansy."

It took every effort I had to keep calm at that moment.

"Then again, you did date that dyke. Maybe she's the one who turned you. Made you realize you'd rather be whipped by a faggot than a woman."

I looked at him for a minute before asking to be excused. He nodded, letting me go. I put my plates in the sink, thanking my mother, and walked up to my room.

Once there, I kicked the nearest bookshelf and sat down on the bed, my head in my hands.

My father would never accept it if he knew what was going on with Roger. And it didn't help that my mother wouldn't either.

I stared at the camera bag next to be before taking it out and replaying the film from that morning. I couldn't help but smile when Roger did on screen, frowning when I realized what I was doing.

I closed the camera and let out a sigh, picking up my phone to dial a familiar number. Maureen still wasn't answering. Now I was getting really concerned. I left her a message before hanging up and considering if I should or not. Deciding it was okay to do, I dialed another number, this one just as familiar, though less used.

"_Hello_?" came a deep voice on the other end.

"Collins? Hey man, it's Mark. I, ah... I need your help with something. Mind if I come over?"

* * *

_So there's the end of another chapter. I'm telling you right now, you will never see the conversation Mark and Collins have from this chapter. It's not in the plan, and it's kind of pointless when I cover what happens in the next chapter._

_If you're still following, reviews will make me a very happy author._

_Until next time, Forget regret, or life is yours to miss._

_~Rappy_


	6. My Father and My Love

_So, another update. I'm pleased with the fact that I'm getting reviews. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :)_

_Warnings for this chapter include much angst, some male/male action, and possibly some fluff. This is where the M rating becomes necessary, be warned. I'm once again using New York, NY and Single Drop Of You in this chapter. I may add in another few songs in upcoming chapters, so keep an eye on it._

_I tried to offer some humor this chapter, but the plot's getting deep. I have a feeling Collins is going to be our eternal comic relief. Roger's mother will be for a bit too. I offer another apology for Mark's father, by the way. I write mostly in play-verse, so that's why he's such an asshole._

_So, I feel I should mention my most constant reviewers here. They get my eternal __gratitude! SPEEEEEEEAK, twicexshy, and StormyNight55 have all reviewed at least twice. More reviews means quicker updates. So, to my multiple-review reviewers, you get a prize. I shall write a story for you. It has your option of pairing, plot line, and rating. The only thing is, it has to be in a subject I know. PM me with your idea, and I shall write it. =) Now, to the __story._

_To days of inspiration..._

* * *

It was almost a month later when I got my parents to trust me enough to let me stay at Collins' house for the night. I packed a bag and went over his place, had dinner there, and then of course set out for Roger's.

Roger and I had sort of started dating. We weren't official to anyone else, excluding Collins of course, we just weren't looking to date anyone else. The benefits of this situation included some heavy makeout sessions and the comfort of being able to watch him turning down yet another girl and know it was because of me.

I walked in his front door at around 8 that night, popping into the kitchen to see them still eating. I laughed lightly. "You guys never eat early, do you, Ms. Davis?"

The older brunette woman laughed a bit, shaking her head. "I've told you every time you're here, Mark, you're dating my son. Call me mom or Patricia."

I laughed, walking a little further into the house and putting down my bag in the living room. Kayleigh was sitting down on the couch, watching a cartoon until she went to bed. She didn't notice me come in, I guess, so I snuck over and picked her up from behind. She squeaked before giggling when I turned her around. "Hey Mark!"

I hugged her and put her back down. "Isn't it time for you to go to bed, missy?"

"Not until eight thirty!" she said, looking back at the television.

I shook my head, laughing again, and went back into the kitchen. I sat in the empty seat I usually got when I was over the house for dinner and poured myself a glass of soda while Roger and Patricia ate and talked.

It was so different seeing dinner in this house compared to dinner at my house. Roger and his mother actually talked over dinner, caught up on everything that the other was doing. Even Kayleigh talked during dinner sometimes. In my house, no one talked. No one had ever talked during dinner. It was a nice change to see a close family.

I heard Roger's fork clink on his plate and looked over. He leaned back in his chair, resting a hand on his flat stomach and said, "I'm stuffed. Jeez, mama, I swear you're trying to fatten me up."

I snorted, shaking my head. "Like you could get fat, Mister Let-Me-Run-A-Mile-Backwards-During-Gym-Class."

Patricia laughed. "He's still doing that? No showing off, Roger. It's unbecoming of up and coming rock stars."

"Please, mama, it's what makes the girls fall to their knees at my feet." Roger smirked, winking at me.

"Oh Rog, you know those girls aren't the ones you want falling to their knees."

I had been taking a sip of soda at that point, and after her statement, I practically choked on it. I swallowed and coughed, blushing furiously.

Roger started laughing loudly, Patricia giggling behind her hand. I looked down at my glass and shook my head, standing up. I walked over to the living room, their laughter following me, and sat next to Kayleigh again.

The girl was blond, like her mother and brother, and had Roger's same green-blue eyes. Their mother had brown eyes, so I could only assume they were from their father. She was about 5 years old now and had started kindergarten. She was curled up in her seat, wearing a pair of black pajamas that Roger had clearly bought her, considering the pants had guitars on them and the shirt said ACDC.

I held an arm out to her when she smiled at me, and she came over to sit on my lap. She curled up comfortably again, her head leaning on my arm, and we sat in silence while the cartoon finished. At 8:30, Roger came in to tell her to go to bed. He looked down at her, then back up at me with a small smile. "She's asleep already."

I looked down, pushing some of her hair out of her face carefully, and shifted my other arm to pick her up. I followed Roger to her room and tucked her in to bed, kissing her forehead lightly, and then we went down to Roger's room.

I laid down on his bed, closing my eyes and taking in the smell of him on the pillows with a smile. Where normally he laid down next to me right away, he stayed standing. I opened my eyes, looking at him curiously.

Roger had a cute smile on his face, and a camera in his hand. I smiled up at him and he snapped a picture of me before laying down with me like he usually did.

We were quiet for a bit, just laying together and enjoying each other's presence, before he spoke. "I wanted to ask you something." I looked up at him, nodding for him to continue. "So... remember that song you were playing the other day? That New York one?"

I nodded again. "Yeah. It's so far from done, but I don't know what else to do with it."

He smiled at me for a moment before sitting up and reaching for his guitar. He picked it up and started playing a guitar riff that complemented the piano very well. "He don't care what it takes, he knows he's got the ability, and with what his folks make he knows he'd have stability. He just needs to get out there and step towards his validity. He can't keep dying over this because it's just killing me." He stopped playing just before he got to the chorus.

I smiled wide, nodding. "That's perfect. Rog, you're... amazing."

He smiled shyly again, putting the guitar back where it had been, and shrugged. "It's not much, but it kinda popped into my head."

I sat up and wrapped my arms around him, kissing him. "It's perfect."

XmXrX

Roger picked his guitar up again after that and played until well after midnight. It was almost 1:30 when he put it down and laid down next to me.

I smiled when he opened his arms and pulled me close. I rested my head on his chest and took a deep breath, curling up in his arms. He covered us up and flipped off the light before he spoke.

"I want to ask you something," he whispered. I rested my hand on his hip lightly, nodding so he would continue. "Why did your parents seem so... angry when I walked in yesterday afternoon?"

I sighed, closing my eyes. "They weren't angry, per sé. They just... they don't approve of you. Honestly, they don't approve of Collins either, but mom never saw Collins kiss me in his car..."

He laughed quietly, kissing the top of my head. "Tell me about your parents?" he asked gently.

I curled closer to him, nodding into his chest. "Well... my mom and dad are Jewish. Strict Jewish. They raised me in a strict house, which I guess is expected. I was used to it. But they got bad toward the beginning of high school. Collins came over one day, and he stayed for dinner. He was my first friend that my parents met. Things went fine until mom asked about him dating anyone. Collins did pretty well, in all honesty, but he slipped up once. He'd done fine at making it sound like he was with a girl for the whole conversation. Then the name Paul came out of his mouth. And from that point on, Collins was forbidden from the house. I had to beg and plead to be able to go out to see him. My parents wouldn't let me date who I wanted to. They're the reason I ended up dating Maureen in the first place. When she started dating Joanne, they wanted to stop me from seeing her. Then I met you. And again, they don't want me hanging out with you. Especially after the car incident. It's not as bad as it seems. I'm mostly okay with the fact that they don't approve of my friends. But... Their insults hurt. My father is worse... My mother at least just stays quiet. Tells me that it's against God's will. My father..."

At this point, I could feel myself getting upset. It was never easy voicing the things he said. Roger kissed the top of my head again, so I continued.

"He has a tendency to insult me. Pansy. Queer. The usual ones. Nancy-boy. Mary. Faggot. Hey, Mary, where's your boyfriend? Did the dyke dump you because she knew you were a faggot? School expell you for being queer yet?" I shrunk even further into myself, almost pulling away from him. "Can't throw the football, can you faggot? But you'll go out there and film the football players. What's that about? Something to jack off to later?" I don't know if I was angry or hurt, but by the end of that statement, I could feel tears building up. I wasn't going to cry. No, I refused to cry. "No son of mine is a faggot. Must not be mine." My voice cracked and I stopped talking.

Roger gently pulled me close to him, rubbing my back gently. I kept fighting the tears back, not wanting to cry. After a minute or so, he lifted his head and whispered in my ear, "It's okay for you to cry."

I cried silently into his shoulder for a minute or two before I regained control and stopped myself. I kept my head where it was for another few minutes before Roger spoke again. "Mark?"

I took a few deep breaths before looking back at him. "I'm sorry," I breathed.

He smiled lightly. "Don't be. You're human." He lifted a hand to put it on my cheek and kissed me gently. He pulled back, meeting my eye again, before kissing me more deeply. He ran his tongue across my bottom lip gently, and I opened my mouth, letting it in. As we kissed, he shifted so that he was on top of me. We separated for air and his lips were on my neck, kissing and licking lightly. He kissed up to my ear before whispering, "Let me make it better."

I nodded breathlessly. A whispery moan escaped me when his hands, roaming under my shirt, stopped on my hips. He lifted his head again, meeting my eyes. He held himself up on one elbow, his other hand toying with the waistband of my pajama pants. His expression was questioning, asking permission."Is it okay?" he questioned softly.

I kept his gaze for a moment or two before nodding. He smiled, kissing me again, just as gentle as before. Slowly, his hand dipped into my boxers. He broke the kiss, propping himself up on his left arm and meeting my eyes. My breath caught in my throat as his hand wrapped around me. He paused, just holding me, making sure I was okay with it. Slowly, he began to move his hand.

His hand around me felt amazing. As he pumped, he kept my gaze, his smile never dropping. "Feel good, baby?" he whispered, pressing a light kiss to my neck. I nodded, letting out a whispery moan of his name. He smiled a bit wider and started pumping faster.

I didn't last long after that. My back arched away from the bed, closer to him, as I got closer. He continued to whisper softly in my ear, kissing my neck and my mouth alternately, and his strokes were steady and even. I came with a breathy whisper of his name, still keeping focus on his green eyes. He pumped a few more times before sliding his hand out of my boxers and wiping it on the sheet beside me.

As my breathing slowed, Roger pressed another kiss to my neck. "I love you," I breathed without thought.

For a moment, he was silent. Then he met my eye again, his smile glowing. "I love you too."

I smiled sleepily and let my eyes slide shut. I was asleep moments later.

XmXrX

The next morning, Roger's alarm beeped loudly. I sat up with a smile and leaned over him to switch it off. He made a grumbling noise and pulled the pillow over his head. I could sort of hear the words "Damn alarm... Early..." before his voice was too muffled to understand.

I laughed quietly, leaning toward him and lifting the pillow. "Time to get up, sleepy." He made a noise that sounded distinctly like the word meh, curling up a bit more. I kissed him lightly before beginning to tickle his sides.

Roger shot up, glaring half-heartedly at me. "No fair."

I smiled cheekily, kissing him again. "But you love me anyway."

He raised an eyebrow. "Someone's chipper this morning."

I shrugged, looking at the floor around the bed. "I slept well."

Roger just looked at me for a minute before a wide smile crossed his face. "I know." He flipped the radio on, a pop station playing. He was about to switch the channel when I stopped his hand. He glanced at me with a shrug.

I dressed in a pair of my jeans, singing along with the song lightly. When I started digging through one of Roger's drawers for a shirt, I could feel him smiling at my back. I turned my head to look at him, blushing slightly. "What?"

He shook his head, his smile still the same. He was already dressed, wearing a pair of jeans and a faded Guns N' Roses tee. "It's cute."

I looked back down at the drawer, my blush growing. "Yeah, me singing Selena is so cute..." I mumbled sarcastically.

Before I knew it, he was behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist gently and resting his chin on my shoulder. "It is cute. Because it's you."

I laughed lightly, shaking my head. "If you say so." I returned to digging through the drawer, finally finding a plain black tee shirt that I could pass off as my own. I'd forgotten to grab anything other than pajamas, so I wore the same jeans I'd worn the day before. Before I could slip it on over my head, Roger turned me in his arms and kissed me deeply.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, my eyes sliding shut. I opened my mouth to him, sliding down so I was sitting on the floor. He straddled my waist and we continued kissing until I couldn't breathe anymore. His lips found my neck again and a low moan came from my throat. "Ro-ger... School..."

He nipped my neck lightly before pulling away to look me in the eye. He smiled at my expression, one I'm completely certain would have been horribly embarassing if anyone else had seen it, and kissed me lightly one more time before getting up. "I suppose you're right. We do have to eat. And it smells like..." He sniffed the air as I slid my shirt on and stood up. His face lit up in an almost childish manner. "I smell bacon!"

I couldn't help but laugh when he opened the door. He held it for me before bounding down the steps. Patricia stood at the stove, moving sizzling pieces of bacon around a skillet. He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking over to the table. I shook my head, grinning at the wide smile on his face as he poured a bowl of Captain Crunch. I sat across from him, pouring myself a glass of milk instead of taking cereal, and looked over at Patricia again. "Morning Ms. Davis."

She looked at me over her shoulder with a smile. "Patricia, Mark, Patricia." She shook her head. "Have a good night last night?" she asked, winking at Roger.

Roger smiled, chewing the bite he'd just taken of his cereal. "Ask Mark."

I just looked down at the table, smiling and blushing at the same time. I nodded and took another sip of my milk, choosing to focus on the tablecloth rather than the now laughing woman.

"First time, Marky?" she giggled.

Roger dropped his spoon. "We didn't go that far, mama!"

I snorted at that. I couldn't help it. Hearing that from Roger's mouth was just perfect.

Patricia put some bacon on a plate in front of me, still smiling. "Still a first."

I shook my head, looking up at Roger. He was blushing furiously, now staring at his bacon like it was speaking to him. I chuckled and he looked up at me curiously. I shrugged, and his smile returned to his face.

I ate breakfast in silence, listening to Roger and his mother talk about what the plans were for the day and everything else. Finally, around 7:30, Roger and I left for school.

We got there around 7:40 and went to the front steps immediately, finding Collins talking with a tall senior from my Calculus class. We stood off to the side for a few minutes, waiting for Collins to finish his conversation, and walked over after the senior leaned down and kissed him before walking away.

"Who's that?" I asked, smiling.

Collins grinned. "His name's Jon. He's really sweet."

I raised an eyebrow, opening my mouth to speak before Roger cut in. "Jon as in Jonathan? Larson?" Collins nodded. "He's that kid working on that play. The one about Superbia." Collins laughed, nodding again.

I smiled. "Why do you know more about the kid in my class than I do?"

Roger shrugged. "I know things."

We stayed and talked for a while longer, until the bell rang. Roger and I walked to homeroom, his arm around me, and kissed me lightly before we walked in the room.

XmXrX

The day was pretty uneventful. We went to all our classes, and I had a conversation with Jon during Calculus. I discovered that he was really working on two plays, one sort of what he saw himself going through when he left for New York, and the other about Bohemia. It was interesting, overall, and he was a good writer. I approved of him for Collins.

Lunch was interesting, yet again. Maureen hadn't been to school since the fight with Joanne. None of us had heard from her, and all she'd left her parents for a note was "I'll let you know when I find where I'm supposed to be." Collins had been the one most caught off-guard, since despite the fact that I'd dated her, she was closest to him.

When we got into the lunchroom, Collins was smiling wider than I'd ever seen him smile before, and was talking animatedly to Joanne. The girl looked like she was torn between relief and severe pain at the words he was saying. Finally, she nodded and said thank you before walking away, wiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand. She waved to us as she left the cafeteria, and after that we walked over to see what had him so excited.

"Guys! Mo called!" he said before we could even ask. Forgetting our food, we sat at the table in front of him and prepared ourselves for what he was going to say. "She left for New York. She's living in a loft in Alphabet City with this guy named Benny. She's not dating him or fucking him or anything, actually. She's just staying with him. They live there for free since Benny's dating the landlord's daugher. She's been doing performances left and right, got into this play called 'Akita'. She's doing great!"

I let the words process before a smile crossed my face. "She made it to New York..." I shook my head for a moment, laughing. Roger's arm circled my waist in a way that I'm certain was comforting me in the thought that she made it first. "Did she mention the company she's doing the play with?"

"The New York Theatre Workshop."

I nodded, smiling again. "Great. Great. We'll have to go see her this summer."

Collins went on animatedly for the rest of the period, seemingly forgetting we were there. I looked at Roger, the news still feeling bittersweet. I put on my best smile, but he saw right through it. "You'll get there," he whispered in my ear. "I promise."

XmXrX

After music that day, Roger and I stayed in the music room late. I sat at the piano, listening to him play the riff he'd played the day before, and then started to play my piano portion over it, testing the sound. It was better than I'd expected it to be.

We paused when we got to the part we didn't have lyrics for yet. Roger looked at me, seeming pensive, before speaking. "Play your song, Mark."

I raised an eyebrow, shaking my head. "No, no... It's no good."

The music teacher came over then. "Play it Cohen. I might assign you a solo piece otherwise. This way, only we're gonna hear it."

I looked at Roger, then back at Mr. Raymond, and then at the piano. I sighed, then set my hands in the right position to play.

Before long, I was lost in the song. Roger started saying verses over the melody I played, and when it got to the chorus I took over like it was the most natural thing in the world. By the end of the song, we had covered most of the verses I hadn't filled yet and played the chorus four or five times.

Mr. Raymond sat down on the piano bench next to me when we had finished and looked at the keys for a minute or two before nodding. "For a boy who says he's bad at music, you've got some skill Mark." I shrugged, blushing. "I mean it. I don't say that to just any student."

Roger smiled, putting his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, then at Mr. Raymond with a smile. "Thank you sir."

Roger stood then. "Well, we're going to get going. See you tomorrow, sir."

We walked out to his car after he stowed Jessie in the music office. As we drove away from the school, I looked back at the guitar he'd put in the back seat. "What's your guitar's name?"

Roger glanced over at me as we drove toward my house. "I don't really know. I hadn't chosen a name for it." He looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking. "I kind of like the idea of calling her April."

* * *

_So... that's the end of this chapter... It feels a bit short for me. Like something else should be there. But it's the best I can do for now. We know where Maureen is now. We know Collins' boyfriend. Teehee. And of course, Mark's father was of importance here. It was big. Even though it feels short, I feel like I did a good amount with this chapter. From here on out, the plot starts to get darker, heavier. It'll get worse as we go, but better in some ways too. This is sort of the quarter-point. The half-way is at the end of high school. So about six more high school chapters, and then we get into them when they're older. And yes, I did intentionally choose the names of his guitar and bass. The guitar is self-explanatory. The bass you'll see..._

_I'm still deciding on whether or not I should go through RENT detailed or just skim over it... Since the story's already known, should I do it in detail, with Mark's thoughts on Mimi and everything, or should I just skim over it like I was thinking at first?_

_Reviews? They might make me update faster this time. Hehe._

_There's only now, there's only here..._


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